Man
One of the manliest men around, Man is a construction worker. His well-groomed mustache perfectly compliments his lantern-shaped jaw. Thick, curly locks of chest hair billow out from under his collar. His oversized fists are ready to trade blows with any upstart stuffed animal or action figure that crosses his path.
On a recent walk, Eddie was holding Man when he started swinging his legs in a frenzied run and tripped. Man sacrificed his body to protect Eddie's hand from scrapes, but is so perfectly chiseled that he only suffered a small rip in his shirt pocket where his pectoral muscle flexed to break the fall.Guy
Crew chief for a pair of successful race car drivers, Guy's large noggin indicates a superior intellect that is crucial in guiding his racers to victory. He sports a stylish ensemble that includes a striped racing jacket, yellow pants, and matching ball cap.
Eddie has been teething lately, and asked for Guy when he woke up crying in the middle of the night. Rumor has it that it was Guy who eventually coached Eddie back to sleep when even his parents had given up and shut their bedroom door to muffle the screaming.
3 comments:
In comparisons like this, it's always best to ask: "Who would win in a fight?" And the answer is, hands down, Man. Man would beat the living snot out of Guy. I mean look at those hands. What's Guy going to do? Drive away in his race car? Hard to make a getaway when you keep making left turns. Also, as impressive as it may be, no amount of "stylish ensemble" has ever won anything in a fight. And let's not underestimate the power of curly locks of chest hair and a well-groomed mustache. It's a scientific fact that the more body hair you have, the more of a man you are.
The kicker, however, is the acts of heroism displayed. Man sacrifices his body to protect Eddie—a truly manly thing to do if there ever was one. What does Guy do? Stay up all night, consoling Eddie? Did he sing him a song? So good to hear Guy's (or should I say "Gal's") maternal instincts kicked in.
I feel a little sorry for Guy. Sure, Man is much manlier, but does manliness really mean coolness? I am not entirely sure, since I am neither. I felt I needed to vote for Guy because even though he is a no-muscled, big-headed, purple-jacket wearing person, he has cool silver sunglasses. And that makes all the difference in my book.
I love that he has them named. Man has spent quality time at our house and even slept over, but I've never met Guy.
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